I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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