Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I would ride that face into the sunset
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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