oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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