Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
