I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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