i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
