But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
