what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize