so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
