I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
