shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
