spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
