He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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