There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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