i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
