i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
