kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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