have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
