I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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