Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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