Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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