if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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