god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Never joke about your clitoris.
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