I'm drive I can fine osifer
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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