At least make sure they are 18
Why
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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