actually, I'm a sock model
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
