my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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