our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
