Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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