I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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