my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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