Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
