in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
