you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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