We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
