He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
