hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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