Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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