Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
