No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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