i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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