No stitches, just platelets and will power
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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