Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
