You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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