The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
