I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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