isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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