Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
