my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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