you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
