Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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