So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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