And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
