and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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