my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
