She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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