Is it because I queefed?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
