this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
