he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
