none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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