the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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