I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
When did angry sex become our thing?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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